When you’re married, and trying to get a business off the ground together, there are good ways to work through business problems. There are also shitty ways to work through those problems.
Recently we accidentally learned one of the shitty ways. As a result we have a new rule which we just made up. Here it is. Are you ready?
Do NOT unload business anxieties on your spouse right before bed.
If you’ve gotten derailed, if you’ve hit a snag, if you are earning less than you expected by now… guess when is a good time to discuss it?
Morning. When you start your workday. So you can both begin working to fix the problem right away.
Guess when is a crappy time to discuss it?
Right before bed.
Once the problem is off your chest, sure, one of you might be sleeping peacefully, basking in the afterglow of honest communication. But five hours later, your spouse will still be lying awake on the couch, staring at the ceiling, reviewing every mistake in their life that has led to this problem.
By the time the sun comes up, and the insomnia battle has ended, you can expect exhaustion, overcaffeination and an overflow of resentment. And there goes your workday.
Let’s be honest. Challenges arise with alarming frequency when you’re in a startup. So many moments feel like low moments. And when you work together at home, without the constraints of standard work hours, it’s easy to talk about business all day long. But if you value your marriage, sometimes you gotta nip it in the bud.
So do your spouse a favour. Write down your problems so you can sleep, and save the chat for the morning.
That is all.